What Happens When You Marry Yourself?

So many of us have experienced the isolation, fragmentation and separation of this last year.  It is important to realize there is, frankly, always the most intimate and long lasting relationship that you will ever have going on, even when you are alone. The one with yourself. The quality of our relationship with ourselves has lately been radically exposed without the filters of so many of our usual social distractions. What would happen if you made that relationship formal, committed, compassionate and collaborative? I did the experiment almost 20 years ago and it is working.

Here (in the comments) is a 5 min segment of a much longer and many-faceted video you can find on my website and YouTube, this one is with Akasha Heather Christy, who is well versed in somatic healing practices and relationship attachment theory, talking about my own journey with my “till death do I part” self marriage.

I’ve been creating several of these IntimacyArts Salons lately; interviewing wise souls on what they love to offer the world and just letting what arises be expressed, raw, honestly and spontaneously. It is so inspiring and incredibly fun to get to geek out about life and relationship with these friends and colleagues who have dedicated their lives to understanding and healing our hearts, bodies and souls. Enjoy!

Intimacy Arts Podcast with James Jesso

Listen Now:

Shivoso joins ATTMind Radio to speak of what it means to create an extraordinary relationship and the most common hurdles we face in achieving such a connection; the influence childhood experiences have on how we relate as adults; the “deeper purpose of relationships”; polyamory & monogamy; and the transcendental power of lovemaking.

SOURCE: http://www.jameswjesso.com/cultivating-extraordinary-relationships-w-shivoso-phoenix/

I AM ENOUGH! Shame and self critisism

Nice one Jeff!

Shame keeps us all separated and alone even when we are with our closest relationships. It literally separates us from ourself. A voice imposed from the outside, programed into us. It is essential to distinguish between our authentic desire to be the best we can be and the nagging judge. They can even be saying similar things, but the feeling is completely different. The intention is different. Responsible recognition and acknowledgment for mistakes and missteps helps us learn and stay connected. Shame and self loathing only contract us, isolate us and keep us in a room with no doors.


Jeff brown says; “I am so tired of how hard we are on ourselves. Not attractive enough, not smart enough, not cool enough, not purpose-full enough, not spiritual enough, not flexible enough, not creative enough, not rich enough, not happy enough, not healthy enough, not sexy enough, not wise enough. It’s like a collective shame-fest that begins when we are born and continues until we are dead. So much magnificent life is lost when it is swept under a bushel of shame. Billions of us walking around convinced we are not something enough. Methinks we are missing the point. Just staying alive on this planet is a brave act, one that demands that we sift through all of the not enough inner chatter to find reason to go on. How about if we begin every day with an ‘I am enough’ meditation. Lets begin right now, “I am enough!” I AM…ENOUGH!” www.Soulshaping.com


Yoga and the Art of Selfishness

Na, Its not about getting stoned before Yoga. Its about the scientific analysis of why yoga is great for our overall mood. Hit the Mat folks!

There are so many good reasons in relationship to put ourselves first. You cannot show up for anyone else if you cannot show up for yourself. It is a disservice to your significant other(s) to habitually deplete yourself or ignore self care. The most loving thing one can do is increase ones capacity to show up by taking impeccable care of ones self. This is the Art of Selfishness.


Check your Unconscious Agreements, Daily!

“There are thousands of agreements you have made with yourself, with other people, with your dream of life, with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children. But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave. The result is what you call your personality. In these agreements you say, “This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things, and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is fantasy; this is possible, that is impossible.” -Dr. Miguel Ruiz

This is what I run up against in much of my work. Not only with clients, but also with myself. The basic unconscious agreements we all run, domesticated into us by our culture and parenting have a huge impact on the path of our lives, our health and happiness. They are not easy to see, being unconscious; the water that we swim in, but the results in our experience are obvious. For most of us we struggle with certain things constantly; money, health, relationships etc. Outward events seem to impact us almost randomly. “…Make the unconscious, conscious or it will direct your life….” There are ways to work with this and the first step is realizing how your unconscious is running you most of the time.